Distinction

In the name of Allah, the Most Compassionate & the Most Merciful

I noticed an inconsistency in the font size/ type of my entries. lol! Ok never the mind.
How do we distinguish between complaining (and being ungrateful of certain outcomes) and just expressing ourselves?
Had a conversation with coliqs just now in regards to the monthly cramps that we female sometimes had to endure.
I found myself lamenting about the back aches i experienced recentlt. Lamenting so much that I suddenly thought I sound as if i was/ am complaining.

With all honesty, the back pain was more intense as compared to the previous times. if solely comparing it to the back pain experience, it is bad. but overall if you were to ask me, i am greatful that it is just the back pain that causes much of the discomfort. other than that, it was an on-off pain and it is bearable (since i was on the bed the whole day).

Ok, so how do we actually draw the line? when expressing turns into complaining.

May He forgives us for all the complainings made. May He allow us to appreciate more of the good things that comes and happen in our life and shift our focus on the blessings (and sees blessing at every "undesired - based on our instinct" moments).

Which reminds me of a surah where Allah SWT mentions that He will grant the believers distinction between the good and the bad (e.g things, behaviours, etiquette, etc). InsyaAllah, will check which surah it is from and update the blog accordingly.

 

Brewing in Progress

In the name of Allah, the Most Compassionate & the Most Merciful

And today, i just feel like throwing my handphone away. go on strike with FB. avoid tweeting. and paste a post-it on my forehead which says " Do not disturb. Busy brewing."
Brewing what?? my thoughts.

Sometimes, a supposedly joyous ocassion leaves some bad feeling.
Sometimes, a supposedly less joyous ocassion leaves good feeling. :)
it always depends on what is learnt from the people who was present.

Agree to Disagree

In the name of Allah, the Most Compassionate & the Most Merciful

someone told me before (or maybe it was just what I thought that someone meant), a believer finds life here in the world is tough. there are many rules that we (as a believer) have to abide to.
Now, I would like to agree to disagree.
Its tough being here is because ALL of us (humankind including yours truly) do not abide by ALL His rules & regulations and the life examples of our Prophet.

And so lets persevere on and continue to improve ourselves. InsyaAllah!

A Biased Author

In the name of Allah, the Most Compassionate & the Most Merciful

Someone I know,  recently bought a book for a 8year old child, about religions that are "exists" in this world and how being an atheists is the "best option".  To be honest, the first intention I had when I asked to have a look at the book, was how comprehensive would it be or at least just glance through the information to have a better understanding of the other religions and their practices.

I was taken aback. How this book presented the wrong informations about the religions.  I do not own a vast knowledge about religions but I do know that its truly untrue when the book mentioned the following:

Islam is a strict religion. They have to pray 5x a day
[praying 5x a day is considered tough? how is that so when these prayers are beneficial to us? The recitations that are recited are supplications for our well-being (i.e. seeking forgiveness, asking for guidance, Glory Him to humble ourselves. We are afterall mere human being with limited strengths and  let alone power). Grab a Daily Prayer book and read the translations.]

Women has to cover their hair
[thats it? should not they mentioned chest area as well? its stated in the Quran about it.]

They cant eat hotdog otherwise their God will be angry with them.
[hot dog? Was he referring to pork?] [Allah SWT will be angry if we do something that would be harmful to ourselves. We are His honoured creations among all, and here we are harming ourselves? Wont that make The One who loves us angry. Its like betraying the honoured title.

"And surely We have honoured the children of Adam, and We carry them in the land and sea, and We have given them of the good things, and We have made them to excel by an appropriate excellence over most of those whom We have created"
(Quran 17: 70) (Translation by Shakir)

Christians worship God or Jesus Christ
[I am sure there is some correction required or at least an explanation to the abovementioned sentence]

The book is clearly biased! I have nothing against atheist but I do not agree on the information (w/0 explanations) found on the book. I cant comment much on the write ups about the other religions since I am not equipped with the knowledge).

Why do we start to brain wash innocent children's mind with incorrect informations just to get him/her to be of the same faith as we are. Explanations and instill curiousity would help the child.

Please do not begin with fake information and  lie. Our children (even adult readers) deserve better treatment.

Bila nak kahwin?

بِسْمِ ال


Feeling: is frustrated


"Bila ko nyer turn nak kawin?" yes, as the years goes by..that question was asked more frequently. personally i dont have a problem with it as my answer would be either "i have not found the one yet", "insyaAllah bila da ada jodoh nanti". but what i have a problem with is...actually i dun consider myself having problem, in fact maybe the other has problem with EQ on that day, is when one can easily "match make" me with someone who is also unmarried...conveniently.
To be honest, at the back of the mind, i have already started nagging. Yes, to tell the person that the marriage that was bestowed to him was from Him. So instead of making me feel I am being mocked at (and accummulate more dosa at my end, May Allah forgive me :( ),wont it be better that it was replaced by saying thanks and praises Him.

A marriage, a sacred bond, which is a gift from Allah. A gift. Am i supposed to just settle down with someone whom i may not like or  dun meet the criteria (who is fit to lead me and my future children. someone whom my children could count on and be proud of) that i have in mind, just to keep the "matchmaking" at bay and/or to stop the advices. Not that I dont need advice or dont appreciate it, but I will ask when I feel the need to be adviced and I will approach the best (to my knowledge) and whom i am comfortable sharing about such issues. One thing I've learnt, its pointless giving advices to someone when he/she feels its not a problem to begin with. so, please stand behind my yellow line....7 arms length away for now!

I have people that I know who cried for me. Took pity of me.
The thoughts are sweet but its been placed in the wrong way. Save the tears. Ration it for those more important times, like in our sholat (*note to self*)

How come marriage seems to be a HOT QUESTION as we age?
I wonder as the years goes by will the next few HOT QUESTIONS be.."Da kerja kan umrah?" "Bile nak ke Haji?"
(May He remove us from the feeling that we are superior from others in a way or another)
ok, anyways I need to re-emphasise that i have no issue about Bila nk kahwin question, just dont play matchmake or provide me with advices when i myself didnt ask for it. Appreciate your gestures. 
The best gift for any unmarried person is SUPPLICATIONS.
A portion of the Al Fatehah is "To Him, we worship. To Him we seek His help". Help me to ask Him to bless me with a righteous spouse. 
SubhanAllah, May He reward for those who have tireless made supplications for me. Jazakkallahu khayran.

I had a dream

بِسْمِ ال

I have always been fascinated by how our dreams are connected/ linked to our emotions side. not much of the dreams made sense to me. but yesterday's dream..MasyaAllah, completed the whole emotion/ cognitive jigsaw i felt and experienced. so here's how the dream snippets went like:. (the ones in brackets are my "interpretation about the dream itself"):

i was somewhere in the neighbourhood, along with 2 other so-called friends.
I happened to recognize one being the primary/ secondary friend I had. She was the more domineering one, who have the tendency to expect others to show respect to her. ok, to keep it simple, she was wat we call in secondary school, gangster.
Though I dont feel comfortable being in their company, I just tagged along.
(somehow I realized that at times, I do exhibit this behaviour. I tend to juz try to be physically there with some people though i seriously feel like i dont want to. i feel obliged to..sometimes. :( worst thing is i juz played along).
The friend that i was with started picking up a fight over some glaring issues. And i was caught in the fight as well. hhhhmmmm!!!
Good thing was, i didnt end up with any punches...Alhamdullilah.
As the opposing members approached me, i was "somehow" ready to leave my fate to Him, I even recited a doa "tawakkaltu Allahi wa la hawla wa la  kuwwata Ilah billah". Alhamdullilah, the members kind of just flip me around..but no "injuries" sustained.
I quickly left the whole group. And found myself at Suntec.
(MasyaAllah! Even in dreams, He made me remembers Him and the doa. I do hope that when situation arises or during normal days in real life, He will help me to remember Him constantly too. Alongside Taqwa. Amin!)
Im amazed how my dreams are linked to what i remember about a place as well. i know that Carrefour Hypermarket are no longer found in Singapore. And so in my dream it was replaced by NTUC EXTRA...hee! cute la kan. The mind replaces it with another hypermarket...lol!
And there was even a makcik who exclaimed that it is open 24hrs. ;)
i was looking frantically for an exit..no idea how i ended up being in Suntec, which looked like Pasar Baru in Bandung. i even wanted to buy a kain there!!!!
(this i gotta admit, i am looking for a kain in real life. :) )
anws, though i was tempted..really tempted to purchase a cloth, i was more determined to get away..run away. go to a safe place.
i could not find escalator down,,,like i mentioned it was like in Pasar Baru concept..and it was filled with people. i resorted to go to the carpark and walk down the same "route" like the cars. it was drizzling by the way.
(no idea, what this means though. something deep i supposed.)
I finally managed to get out of the building..and found myself at Kallang. Wanted to take the bus home (yes, at this point i know i wanted to get home)
and so i hailed for a cab instead. there was a group of youngsters who was waiting for a cab too.
As i flagged down a cab, the cab driver wind down his windows and said that he cant u-turn to get to where i was standing. he did said that the car in front of him is blocking him and the car is too near his cab. i suggested that he reverse to give more space for him to overtake the car.
His cab finally reaches me, the group of youngsters nearly board on the cab, but i have no clue what happened..i think the cab driver told em that I flagged his cab down first. anws as i made my way in the cab, i realized that there was no proper seat..i had to squad and balance myself on a rusty rod. hmmm...i sat in the cab anyways (ok, now here is what i interpret the dream. i tend to be accommodative. i tink personally i feel as long as i dont tink it is too much for me to handle, i am able to take it.) No, the group of teens who "nearly stole my cab" didnt board the cab because there was no proper seat in the cab hor. the cab that they got later was something worst, they had to hang on to their dear lifes as they had to seat on the windows of their cab. (if you cant picture how that look like, picture the crowds in India on-board the train).
Back to my dreams, i remained in the cab, questioned the cab driver, what happened to his cab till there is no proper seat.
His reply while driving and facing me "I was caught in an accident!"
i think i did managed to tell the cab driver to keep his eyes on the road. And i know i was terrified after hearing what he said.
Before i could reach home safely from the much not-anticipated drama, my handphone (in real life!) rang.

Thats the end of my dream.
As  i try to run from the past, it does trigger me once in a while. The bullying in primary and secondary school. how i simply endured the "pain" just to be with someone whom i called a friend. At times now, i do wonder if the deed i do is a good one. will people exploit my kindness. yes, i do hav tots "am i being bullied again?"
May He make it easier for me to do every good deed (within my means) because of Him. InsyaAllah!

Anws it kinda intrigued me to know about the linkage between the dreams and reality emo/cognitive side of us. :)
Where,how  do i begin reading about it?

Salam 1434Hijrah

Salams All..been a while since i have blogged. It being a new islamic year, May this new year brings us closer to Him and make us steadfast in our good deeds to gain His love. Amin!
I have never thought that hijrah year have any much significant. you noe, macam any new year, after flipping the calendar for the past 12 times its time to get another new one. lol!
ok, and i did thought it could be the founding of islam...wrong again!
ok anws, and yes i found the answer at http://ww2.onislam.net/english/shariah/muhammad/reflections/459890-hijrah-still-offers-valuable-lessons.html

Happy reading peeps about the Hjrah year. the lessons which we can try to practice in our daily lives. And appreciate the sacrifice of our beloved prophet for going all out for Allah's religion. May Peace Be Upon Him. Amin

and the reason is.....

بِسْمِ ال


"Not that i am angry nor upset over the previous conversation we had few days back.
I am not comfortable with your statement jus now. Hence the short reply and end of conversation. =)
No hard feelings yer..."

Our Community

بِسْمِ ال


I have just completed my assignment on about the Malay Community. Realized that many of our culture here opposes the teachings of Islam. Ironic isnt it. The Malay community here are generally Muslim-born, how can our culture deviate from Islam itself.

Way before Islam in this part of the region, our ancestors are of a different religion apart of Islam la kan.
The practice they had when they were non-muslim continue to be practiced..but as a culture here.
e.g. weddings, we are encouraged to do a simple wedding. but many of us did them in a lavish way, membazir tu. which is not encouraged in Islam but in culture means to let others know that you are celebrating the once-in-a-lifetine event...so its ok to splurge.
There were many other examples but I guess the most prominent one is the abovementioned.


We might never know that we somehow do practice culture or we display behaviours that are against His teachings as well. Lets sit back and ponder. If its the culture that defined us and make us go against the religion, I believe its safer to discard such culture. Not that i'm saying whatever Malay community culture is against the religion. Whatever we know is against the religion should be abandoned.


Astagfirullah! We are among the wrong-doers. May He forgive us.

If doing the assignment didnt wake me (from some "culture against religion" act), the next sentence did.

Narrated Ibn Abbas radi Allahu Anhu; The Prophet S.A.W said "The most hated person to Allah are three (1) a person who deviates from the right conduct -i.e. an evil doer, in the Haram (santuaries of Makkah and Al-Madinah); (2) a person who wants that the tradition of the pre-islamic period of ignorance should remain in Islam; and (3) a person who seeks to shed somebody's blood w/o any right" (Sahihh Al-Bukhari, Vol 9 Hadith No. 9)

yes, the 2nd, purpled colored attribute woke me up.

Rights, again, I am just trying to be a better practising Muslimah. With such "wake up" call I do hope it will make it more easier for me to remember what is to be practised and what is to be abandoned. InsyaAllah! Amin!


And May many of us realize that there are some culture which we just blindly follow cause its part of culture. Adat. And I do heard of the older generation and new ones too, holding on tight to the adat. something that is more important to grasp hold of is Agama. Yes we are rich in culture..some that didnt oppose to Islam, we can keep that. We just need to filter out those that opposes. Its time to give some thought to it.

First Terawih

بِسْمِ ال

I wonder if im the only one who complains about unable to concerntrate during prayers in congregation.
The other day after terawih, i was complaining to my friend about it. Now I do wonder if others heard me. Yes, wen it comes to complaining I can be quite loud and oblivious to my surroundings.
Anws doesnt matter, what matter is i find out what went wrong.

Apparently!!! i was too busy grasping hold of the recitations and understanding it. At the same time trying to be in-sync (a step back-ward i mean) with the Imam!
Yepz..check with 3 others abt praying congregation. All 3 people whom I dearly love may I add said since I am a makmum, I will have to act like one. My job is to follow Imam..have my niat in place, recitations such as Al-Fatihah should be sufficient enough. The rest is to follow lead of the Imam. Thats the beauty and advantage of praying together...and also now it seems clear to me why Imam shoulders heavy responsibility. See how many hundreds of us are following him. Such an honour also isnt it.

Ok, anws lets try Praying in Congregation again! :) InsyaAllah, I will get the hang of it.

The Beauty of Quran #2

بِسْمِ ال

When it comes to giving to charity or doing acts to attain His pleasures, we often hear that our fortunes will be multiplied by Him (but the exact no. were not included in the verbal message).
Tadaaa...the answer can be found at Surah Al-Baqarah ayat 261.




Sahih International (Translation):
The example of those who spend their wealth in the way of Allah is like a seed [of grain] which grows seven spikes; in each spike is a hundred grains. And Allah multiplies [His reward] for whom He wills. And Allah is all-Encompassing and Knowing.


MasyaAllah! Based on simple calculations and understanding thats 700x la!
Spent SG1,000 here for His way and you will get 700,000 amount of pahala/some in monetary form/ our "token to be presented" for Judgement Day. Wohhhooo!!! Look at those digits! Imagine that amount in our bank...tak ke sedap mata memandang, mengukir senyuman. Well, even if we dont get all the amount here in Dunya. InsyaAllah, during Judgement Day we will be glad that our Deeds statement account states such amount. Tokens to enter Jannah! InsyaAllah!

Ok, maybe my example is too huge la kan. No matter how big or small the contribution is, the returns are HUGE! This is better den any interest rate you can get.

So lets try to do our bit in support of the ones in need and also to help distribute the wealth that He has provided us. (we are being rewarded for giving something that isnt ours to begin with. whao!). May He guide us all and with the charity it helps purify ourselves, the wealth we have gained and also our soul. Amin! :)

with that, please be reminded to check on your zakat payment.
As always its actually a note to self actually.

Have a blessed Ramadan All.

The Beauty of Quran #1

بِسْمِ ال

Ramadan Kareem (Generous month of Ramadan) is here! Mubarak Ramadan to many of us who are given another opportunity to gain His blessings and His rewards during this holy.
May each good deeds of ours are accepted. Amin!
And most importantly, May He give us the strength and encouragement to gain His rewards throughtout this month and make us a better muslim. Amin!

2 nights back, I was reading the Quran translation (by Dr MuhdTaqi-ud-Din Al-Hilah & Dr Muhd Muhsin Khan) of Surah Al -Baqarah (The Cow).
Ayat 42 from this Surah caught my attention. Before we jump straight to the ayat, lets look at the ayat before. To have a better undertsanding of the next ayat.

Ayat 41:
And, believe in what I have sent down (this Quran), confirming that which is with you (the Taurat) and the Injeel (Gospel), and be not the first to disbelieve therein, and  buy not with My Verses (the Taurat and the Gospel) a small price and Fear Me and Me Alone.
Ayat 42:
And mix not truth with the falsehood, nor conceal the truth (i.e. Muhammad S.A.W is Allah's Messenger and his qualities are written in your Scriptures, the Taurat and Injeel, while you know the truth.


Nabi Muhammad S.A.W and his qualities are "revealed" on the authentic version of Taurat and Injeel! MasyaAllah!

         In Torah
The Lord said to me [Moses]: ‘What they say is good. I will raise up for them a Prophet like you among their brothers; I will put My words in his mouth, and he will tell them everything I command him. If anyone does not listen to My words that the Prophet speaks in My Name, I will Myself call him to account.’ (Deuteronomy, 18.17-9)
website: http://www.thewaytotruth.org/prophetmuhammad/proofs.html

‘O Moses, surely I will raise up for them a Prophet like you, from among their brothers (that is, from among the children of Ishmael); I will put my Word in his mouth, and he will tell them everything I command him. If anyone does not listen to my words that the prophet speaks in my name, I Myself will call him to account.’ (Deuteronomy, 18:18-19.)

website: http://www.thewaytotruth.org/prophetmuhammad/proofs.html

Moses said: ‘O my Lord, I have found in the Torah a community, as the best of the communities, that will be raised for (the benefit) of mankind; they enjoin the good and forbid the evil, and they believe in God. Let it be my community!’ (God) said: ‘That is the community of Muhammad.’³ website: http://www.thewaytotruth.org/prophetmuhammad/proofs.html

In Injeel
The Prophet who will come after Jesus is referred to as ‘the Master of the world’ in several places in the Gospels.

Hereafter I will not talk much with you: for the prince of this world cometh, and hath nothing in me. (John, 14:30)

When Paraklit comes - the Spirit of truth - who comes from the Father, he will testify about me. (John, 15.26)

I have much more to say to you, more than you can now bear. But when he, the Spirit of Truth comes, he will guide you into all truth. He will not speak on his own; he will speak only what he hears, and he will tell you what is yet to come. He will bring glory to me by taking what is mine and making it known to you (John 16. 12-14)

Interesting is'nt it! The Prophets Nabi Musa A.S. (Moses) and Nabi Isa A.S. (Jesus) revealed to their own communities (by His Grace) on the arrival of Nabi Muhammad S.A.W.

However sad to say that on a certain forum on the web, some claimed that the verse in Injeel (John 14:30) was referring to a false prophet.
May Allah forgive them and lead them to the right path.

On the forum, it also states that Nabi Isa A.S (Jesus) will be brought back and "conquer" this world. Which interestingly, I read somewhere that Nabi Isa A.S will be brought to defeat Dajjal. I have not read the verse on this in the Quran yet. So lets not touch on it yet.

Wonder what other interesting discoveryies awaits for me from the Quran. Heee! Masya'Allah!

The long forgotten pleasure

بِسْمِ ال

Yesterday Kak Erni & I went to catch a monologue by a scripwriter (whom i used to know her as only an actress), Haryani Othman.
It was my first time watching a single performaner acting multiple characters.
most of the time, we are only able to watch an actor/ actress acting multiple characters on the silverscreen (y is it called silverscreen btw?)
back to the play, it was simple layout from the (single) cast, to the props (2 chairs, table with cookies and jars and tray and ......), simple lighting and the lepak-habis dia(mono)logue.
Hani had to change character interchangablely. within seconds. expressions change, tone of voice. within seconds.
i take a while to change my mood from the worried headless "itik" to a gracious "swan" .
back to the play,now, thats what i call ART!

expressions.... :) whaoz! she did great. awesome. alot of parts i could easily relate or "feel" her.
ok, im not a good critic/ someone who gives good or membina opinions.
basically, i love the simplicity of the play yet the intense emotions that were presented.

it just occured to me that actually i love going to plays, musicals. how much i missed them.
the long forgotten pleasure.

i cant think of a proper, suitable title for this post

بِسْمِ ال
Death. Accidents. Illness. Mistreated

I have been staring, typing and deleting and re-typing this first sentence for the past 7mins.
I have no idea how to begin blogging abt this without having much reservations about my thoughts and feelings yet I dun wish to sound like im gloatting over the misfortunes that are my close colleagues and acquaintance went and are going through.

Death: A close colleague of mine, a great sweet kakak whom I consider as the kelakar-seram kakak, lost her mom last Wednesday. It was considered as a sudden death as no one expected it. All her illness was considered as normal old age illness.
As I was talking to her yesterday, she did mentioned that her mom's passing hasnt really get into her yet. She's slightly affected but hasnt felt the impact yet.
There are times when she was doing something and thought about her mom...and then she realized that her mom is no longer ard.

An acquaintance lost her 9-year old son in a road accident in Aussie. Heard the news on radio this morning which then a close fren of mine texted and informed me that someone I knew is involved in the road accident.
A family trip which ended up tragic.
I have always regarded her as a strong lady eversince I met her. Strong willed and firm with her grounds and beliefs. Close-knitted family. The accident also involved her husband and 3 other children. Her husband and one of her child are in critical condition.

Illness and Mistreated: Another close collegue is diagnosed with somekind of illness that weakens her legs and made her lose appetite. Losing her leg strength bit by bit made her feel useless cause she will always need to depend on others and be next to her in case she might fall. Someone who used to be so independant suddenly has to depend on others makes her feel more sorry for herself. hates it!, she said.
Condition at home, being verbal abuse by the in-law made it worst.

Ina Lillahi Wa Ina Ilayhi Raajioon
May Allah grant strength and will power to these incredible ladies to pull through the rough times. May the misfortunes bring them closer to Him.

When such incidents inflicted people that we know or have known, it just dawn on us how fortunate we are, right now. And how great He is. The happiness that we are experiencing right now, be it monetary, relationships, health fortunes will surely be gone as He willed.

As I read back the paragraph before this, i realize too that all along i noe how fortunate i am but i dont really appreciate it. how i've taken advantage of its existance.
=(
Do i have to lose it in order to count it as a blessing?

 

just a feeling

hanya terkilan.

as simple as that.

Larger than Life Itself

بِسْمِ ال
Who are we to question His forgiving attributes. Who are we to doubt it.
May He forgive me, we and us if we ever thought of "am I forgiven?"
What are repeated ones? Is it forgiven as well?

In surah Ta-Ha (20:44), Allah instructed Moses (Musa A.S) and Aaron (Haron A.S) to speak mildly to Pharaoh(Firaun). He gave Pharaoh (someone who is known to be the most evil person on earth....and regarded himself as god? - im not too sure if he did regarded himself as god) chance to repent.  Ayat as below.

What is our sins compared to his? we fail to greet one another...again. we happened to speak about another sister/brother...(initially the niat was to just vent out frustration. but it turned to be a gossip session...argh!). we shouted or showed displeasure....(nie either PMS or case of tak-cukup-tidur).

Allah's grace is larger that what we can possibly image!
we sinned, we seek for forgiveness, and try not to commit the same mistake.
if not commiting seems impossible now, then we can try to reduce the degree and the intensity of the committed sin.

Rights, main point is do not despair on His mercy. Why give up on ourselves when He havent!
(note to self)

What I have written above are just some points (based on my human(E) experiences also) from a good lecture given by Nouman Ali on Never Give Up Hope
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4BNIfki5qdw

	Faqoola lahu qawlan layyinanlaAAallahu yatathakkaru aw yakhsha "But speak to him midly; perhaps he may take warning or fear (Allah)"

Limitations

بِسْمِ الِّة

All of us have limitations, dont we. Limits to how much we can perform or control over matters. we are humans afterall.

I have been feeling tired lately due to work.
and the thought that my exams are around the corner yet work takes too much of my energy to study at night.
There were days when I felt that I didnt have sufficient sleep/ rest.

The tiredness took a toll on me on last Friday.
I was more cranky, more sensitive. I even felt hurt wen Tok Mat answered my question in his "do-not-bother-me" tone and his bochup gestures (yes, at times he is like that. spot the similarities between me and him :P). anws, i was so hurted that I literally cried wen he tried to "pacify" me. His pacify is by asking AniQ to disturb me "kacau auntie AniQ tu yg tgh merajuk". free flow of tears laaa. there I was, streams of crsytal clear tears flowed for about 5mins, in front of AniQ and my 2 younger sisters.

ok, anyways, whats my objective of writing this entry.
Well, what im trying to simply say is that, though part of my course at SIM did taught me about socioemotion and the self-control, I am ordinary human. simply ordinary with no special skills nor great knowledge, i do have my break-down days. do not expect me, in fact anyone, to be 100% of what we have learnt...everyday.  please consider that most people have bad days. What we've learnt takes more den just cultivating it in our own daily lives. 

Do not expect much from others. We are humans with limitations. And we wont have gotten this "far" w/o His guidance nor help.

Surah Al-Kahf (18:43)
"he had no one besides God to help him, nor could he himself achieve any success"  

a highly recommended video

بِسْمِ الِّة

I hope I've gotten the spelling of Bismillah right. I was just testing out the arabic online keyboard which I found guess where..online lorz. :P
anyways do let me know if  the spelling is wrong aite. I have checked online and the Quran on the spelling, but I may have gotten it wrong.

In my previous entry in regards to hijab, one of my frequent questions was .."what if my character/ behaviour doesnt reflects good on Islam". Think I didnt mentioned that another top doubt I had (hopefully it will still remain as past tensed, insyaAllah) was "what if I found out  that its not my time yet. and remove the hijab".
MasyaAllah, with His grace, a talk by Wardinah Saffiyah enlightened me. It can be found at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yh8FWDNBrTk (Struggling to be a better msulimah everyday)

Quran, is her guidance.
Like every skills, it has to be horn and like what the spore government has been saying and a campaign that is highly supported, lifelong learning.
We need to constantly seek for knowledge in Islam. Learn about it and understand the Quran.
Constant questioning, analyze and be critical. Look for answers. Masya'Allah!
With the acquired knowledge and discovery, insyaAllah, it will get us closer to Him. Make us desire more for His love. and with His grace, the good deeds and donning on the proper hijab will be of nature to us.
Do not remain stagnant. Like all love, it has to be nurtured, watered and light from the sun daily,
Lets treat our eeman as a plantation. mine is padi fields since i like the view of the fields at Bandung. (I believe its padi fields)

Highly recommend you to watch the video.

"semoga kita tidak leka dlm perjalanan ini dan sentiasa ber-rendah diri. Amin"

The Ultimate Checklist

As I sat on the prayer mat after my Isyak prayers yesterday, I began questioning myself on my faith.
The ups-and-downs occurs too often. One day I can be at the peak (I felt that way) but the next moment (literally, the very  next moment), there I was at the lowest. Ironic ek!
Anyways, I was pondering yesterday. I felt that my faith should at least be somewhat dip just a level or two then gradually increases. And not a process whereby faith was gradually increasing then falls right back to where I began.
As I was pondering, suddenly (with His grace), the mind just drifted to the interior of a masjid (a fewdays ago, a friend of mine forwarded an email which has 360degrees view of a masjid). The pillars then became the centre of my attention. And unknowingly, I started asking myself about the Pillars of Faith and Pillars of Islam. At times, I get the Pillars mixed up. Had the urge to check it out online.
After verifying my "knowledge" with the web, I realized that my Pillars wasnt strong enough and one pillar was non-existance. May Allah forgive me.

Lets not forget the Pillars of Islam and Faith. Keep it as a checklist to renew ourselves.
For the benefit of others and myself, here's the list.

Pillars of Faith

• Believe in Allah
• Believe in Angels
• Believe in Allah's Revealed Books
• Believe in Prophets and His Messengers
• Believe in Judgement Day
• Believe in Qadar (Divine Predestination) (Allahu'alam= Only Allah knows best)

Pillars of Islam

• Sahadah
• Prayers
• Alms (zakat)
• Fasting in the month of Ramadan
• Hajj

Well Guided Ceiling

Cited from the Nobel Quran
(The Prophets 21:32)

We made the sky above them as a well-guarded ceiling, but they have neglected the evidence (of Our existence) therein